Saturday, 18 May 2013

Generation 7, Chapter 26 : Goodbye little man.


** Continuing from the previous chapter...**


''W-...What? What do you mean he's d-dead... H-he can't... h-he can't.... h-he can't be dead!'' I almost managed to even stutter out. I hear Gemma continue to sob in complete distress as I bolted over to Jonah's crib. I took one more look at him and again tried desperately to revive him. My mum taught me basic CPR steps but my brain literally just froze in time and all it was telling me to do was save my baby boy.

Then I tried again. But this time more quicker, pushing slightly harder on his little chest and blowing small puffs of air into his mouth, constantly checking for a pulse on his little wrist... but there wasn't one.


Not too long after Stella and Ceallach bursted through the doors after hearing Gemma cry very loudly.

''Mum, dad, what's wrong!?'' Ceallach said, breathing heavily after running straight up. ''Are you guys alright!?'' Stella soon said, as she arrived, breathless behind Ceallach.


I looked at Gemma's distraught face and she slowly looked back at me. Just as I was about to explain she tried... at least.

''S-Stella..C-Ceallach... Your baby brother i-is... I-is...'' She just couldn't find the words to say, an instead broke down once again in tears.

As I tried my best to stop her from collapsing to the ground in tears, I held Gemma tight and began to cry again myself. ''Stella, Ceallach... your baby brother's... D-dead.''

''...W-what?'' Ceallach said, as his voice cracked up with sadness. ''What do mean my b-baby brother's dead...?'' He continued to ask. Gemma was still in tears and Stella froze, staring idly at Jonah, who was ever so still.



''H-How did this happen!?'' Ceallach added, moving closer... slowly towards Jonah's crib. He looked down and gasped in horror at the sight of his little brother ...dead.

''Oh my god.'' He said once more, covering his mouth as tars ran pass them.


''How did this happen mum; dad?'' Stella soon asked. She began to cry soon after and I told Ceallach to hold his mother while I went over to hug her.

''Don't cry Stell Bell, please don't cry.'' I said, trying to comfort her.

''H-how did this happen...D-dad?'' She asked again.

''I don't know.''

''Okay... How long has he been... D-dead?'' 

''I don't know...'' I replied, crying even more.

''Have you even called an ambulance...or a doctor?'' She asked, pulling away from me in all seriousness. I looked round at Gemma who was still sobbing in Ceallach's arms and she shaked her head slowly.

''No, we haven't.'' I told Stella.


''For god sake dad!'' Stella said angrily, also in a hast as she pulled out her smartphone. ''Yes, Ambulance Please... 2-21 Farady Avenue....'' She said on the phone.

''D-Dad... they're asking for the cause of death...I mean, W-What should I say...?'' Stella asked me, as tears began to roll down her cheeks once more.

''Cot death.'' Gemma suddenly choked out, as saying those words obviously hurt to say. Suddenly it all added up, Jonah's unexplained death... unexplained cot death.


The paramedic rushed into our house just ten minutes later. She took a variety of tests, pulse counts, a much better version of CPR and even shocking.. .but nothing brought our baby back to life. She sighed and turned around slowly back to us.


''I'm very sorry Mr. and Mrs. Cronwell, your son has sadly died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.''

''Noooo...'' Gemma screamed out, breaking down once more, I held her tight as  began to cry a little bit more and behind me, Stella and Ceallach tried their best to hide their many tears.

''We would like to take him to the Infant Ward as soon as possible, is this okay Mr. and Mrs. Cronwell?'' The paramedic asked, paging the crash on her beeper to bring an Ambulance to our house.

Gemma continued to cry heavily and I looked around at everyone, seeing them in tears.

''Y-Yes Doctor, but is it okay if Gemma and I come...?'' I asked.

''Absolutely Mr. Cronwell, again I'm really sorry for your loss... nothing can be compared to loosing a child.''

I nodded and held onto Gemma as her makeup and tears rubbed into my jumper, we followed out our bedroom after the crash team had put Jonah inside a sealed gurney.

---


Once at morgue, the doctor's put Jonah's little body in a cold room in a little hamper in the middle of the room. Soon after the paramedic who we called led us into his room and we sat on the bench next to the hamper he was in.


''W-Why Robin... W-Why did our baby die?'' Gemma asked me, staring blankly at the hamper as she began to cry.

''Gem no please don't cry...'' I replied, pulling her closer to comfort her again ''...You know, sometimes these things happen, it may of just been fate...'' I added on. She pushed me away suddenly and ran to the hamper he was in.


''Well why did it have to be his fate, out of all the babies in the world robin... H-he chose ours.'' Gemma sobbed so much that I noticed the tears were falling onto Jonah's dead body.


''Oh Gem please don't cry...'' I said from the other side of the room, racing to her side and hugging her once more.

''G-gemma...'' I sniffled up my tears and rubbed my hands through her soft hair ''...We have to try to accept it Gem, he's dead now and we can't bring him back... we just have to try and accept it...''

That very night we stayed in that same position, hugging each other at the side of Jonah's little hamper. Silently praying for him to come back to life...

...but nothing worked.

---


A little over a week later we somehow managed to plan Jonah's funeral. After the service at the church the burial took place in St. Peter's Cemetery;  after all of the guests, including my parents left, we stayed at the burial to have just a few more hours with Jonah.


The kids were devastated with the death of their little brother, Especially Rose and Ceallach because Ceallach longed for a little brother to play with and Rose also wanted a little sibling, close to her age.


Sniffle after sniffle... tear after tear... hug after hug, nothing healed our losses. An amazing son, a wonderful baby brother and a thrilling new addition to our family.


''I mean why did he have to die.... why our little baby brother...?'' Stella said, sniffling as she stuttered on her words.


''Don't worry Sis, we still have our big brother to take care of us and we know little Jonah is watching us and giggling away at us from baby heaven... he's safe up there.'' Raegan said, comforting Cade. Cade was the more emotional twin, whereas Raegan was more of the responsible, comforting twin. She was always there to help her sister in hard times like this.
The Goodbyes...


''Jonah man, why did you have to die! You were so young, so adorable, and even at just a few weeks old, you were already my favourite brother! I had so much plans for us two to do! I'm going to miss you little brother, for ever and ever.... and oh yeah... mum misses you... So much.'' - Cade.


''I'll just be honest with you little bro, I never wanted mum and dad to have another child. I though it would just put even more stress on them but it actually didn't, it resulted in an awesome little brother like you! What was even better that you were a boy! Having three younger sister isn't the best thing but when you came along you just made everything better! Aw crap, I really need to stop ranting, long story cut short, I really miss you little brother....'' - Stella.


''When mum told she was pregnant with you I was so excited that I was going to have another little brother or sister! And then we she had a little boy, you, my wish came true! I always wanted a little brother to play dolls and tea parties with... who knows you may of actually done it with me! I really miss you little brother.... who am I going to have a tea party with now...?'' - Raegan.


''Mum having you was the best thing to ever happen in my life. Ever since the twins were born after Stella and longed for a little brother and ten years later, it actually came true! I had so much planned for both of us... after University of course. Football clubs, being your mentor and even taking you school once I got a car! Those weeks ago when I saw your lifeless body in your crib... I just couldn't believe my eyes.... my little baby brother... dead. I miss you Jonah, so freaking much, more than you'll ever imagine.'' - Ceallach.


Sunset came that evening and it was coming even closer to night. Closer to us leaving our little baby boy all alone in a cemetery.


The time came when Gemma and I decided to finally say goodbye to our little boy.

''Are you sure you're ready for this Gem?'' I asked her.

''No, but if I don't do it now I'll never be ready.'' She replied, gently sitting down in front of Jonah's grave. ''Join me. Please.'' She said, holding a hand out for me.


''J-Jonah.... It was such a surprise when I found out I was pregnant a sixth time and I honestly thought a sixth baby was a bit mistake... until I gave birth to you. Jonah you were honestly, the most easiest and content baby I've ever had, you were quiet, adorable and my little baby who I quickly grew to love. I-I miss you so much baby boy...'' - Gemma said.


''Jonah... my final child... my little boy... You were so special to all of us, as your birth was unexpected. You were such a little thing, so delicate, so gentle, yet you had so much potential. I'm going to miss you so much little man and just remember one thing, daddy loves you and he can't wait to meet you again in heaven .'' - I said. Gemma broke down again my arms, distraught.


''Jonah please come back, at least for mum... she's so sad without you...'' I heard Stella say behind us... looking up to sky trying to look for any answers.


''I just want my baby back Robin... I-Is that too much to ask God for... my own baby back! He never deserved to die, he was just an defenseless, vulnerable little infant who lost his life in the matter of hours!'' She cried out, tugging on my arms even harder as she cried even more.

''I know Gem, I know...'' I said, cooing her in my arms as she continued to cry heavy tears for hours...

---


The one person who didn't get to say goodbye to little Jonah was his last big sister, Rose. Although she was only five, she did know what was going on slightly and was really upset to hear her little brother died.


''A-anything you want to say to your little brother Rose...?'' I asked her, sniffling at the same time.

''Yes daddy!'' She walked up to Jonah's grave slowly and I followed behind her.

''Please come back little brother, I miss you so much and mummy and daddy keep on crying because you're dead and it's making every very very sad so please come... so I can be your big sister again!'' She said, before running to my arms and crying softly.

''We all want him back Rosey Pose... we all do.'' I replied to her, crying once again.

''Daddy please don't cry! I don't like to see you and mummy sad!'' She whimpered.

''I'm sorry love, it's just... I-I miss you're little brother so much right now...''

''Well at least you have me daddy, I'll be you're little child!'' She replied, looking up at me with her big green watery eyes.

''Of course you will honey.'' I replied, pulling her in for a tight hug as I cried even more.


''C'mon Rose, let's go home, we can go make some cookies for mummy to make her feel better, okay?''

''Okay daddy!

---


In loving memory of Jonah Jay Cronwell, whom lived a short, happy life. 

R.I.P - May 2013 - May 2013

---

I'm sorry guys, again, I'm so damn sorry ; ___ ;

Thank you for reading Chapter 26 of The Cronwell Legacy, I'm really glad you read it even though it's a difficult Chapter to get through :'(

Please comment,

Thanks! :)

10 comments:

  1. Hi! This is the first time I comment your legacy and actually I still haven't read it all >.<
    This chapter made me cry a lot ç_ç I'm so sad!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey there! It's okay, take your time! Haha!

      I'm sorry, but thank you for still reading it! :)

      Delete
  2. ;________; ROBIN </3

    I FEEL SO BAD FOR EVERYONE ;_; ESPECIALLY GEMMA :(

    THE PART WHERE THEY ALL SAID SOMETHING FOR HIM. RIGHT IN MAH FEELZ, MAN ;_;

    This is definitely the saddest thing you've ever done :(

    ~Chloe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knoooow ; _____ ;

      Gemma took it the hardest, she is his mother after all ;'(


      I know! When I was in-game taking the photos I got a bit teary eyes ; ____ ;

      It really is, sadder than when Jade's boyfriend died of Cancer :(

      Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  3. What can I say? My deepest respect for daring to approach the subject of sudden infant death in your story, this must have been hell to write.
    Great job done!

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    1. Honestly Anna, it was incredibly hard to write, especially from me being a teenager and having no experience...!

      Thank you so much!

      Delete
  4. It's sad that he died, I wanted Cel to have a brother since he and Robin were the only boys in the house. A very sad chapter D'X ugh. But, I can't wait for the next one.

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    Replies
    1. I know, he longed for one ever since he was six and ten years later, he got one but he died ; ___ ; Thank you!

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  5. I have no words to describe this chapter, but I'll say it in these words. This is so deep. It was one of the best chapters I've read in this generation, Kurtis. While I enjoyed seeing Gemma made ​​me mourn recoldar to see my mother when my brother died a few months of birth. In fact reading the other part made ​​me mourn these because I have identified in this chapter. Great chapter, Kurtis. I will never forget this great generation.

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    Replies
    1. Oh my god, thank you so much Kevin. I'm really sorry to hear about that, loosing a child must be honestly the worst thing in the world. Sorry about that if I made you too upset as well.

      Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

      Delete

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